I design clothes because I don’t want women to look all innocent and naïve…I want woman to look stronger…I don’t like women to be taken advantage of…I don’t like men whistling at women in the street. I think they deserve more respect. I like men to keep their distance from women, I like men to be stunned by an entrance. I’ve seen a woman get nearly beaten to death by her husband. I know what misogyny is … I want people to be afraid of the women I dress.
Most part of this week was spent on worrying. I admit to worry more than my nervous system can handle up until the point that I can no longer think straight. Just to figure out later on that well… I’m doing quite pretty good.
When we worry about things. most often the not, it has something to do with uncertain circumstances which we wish won’t come our way. But the worst part of it, is the kind that weaken your toes and knocks you down. This kind ESSENTIALLY has something to do with CERTAINTY of that precise moment. And for which the coined term “any time now” has arrived. I always feel like it’s the wrath of me, like I would self-destruct any second now just because my name is called for recitation. I have come to the conclusion now that studying very well for a recitation has never been my strongest suit. I try my best to come to class prepared all the time, and the more I do, the more I feel like I will lose everything once my name is called for recitation.
And every single day, I am blessed to have this kind of battle. Because I am still here, barely breathing but breathing. I have 5 weeks left to prove myself that I am worthy to be here and that somewhere and sometime in the future this kind of worrying will have to pay its debt by bringing out the lawyer in me.